Sunday, November 28, 2004

i cant help but think, wad's life all about? hmm.. shihua said that it's all about the care and concern about towards ur loved ones.. but wad i feel is ar, life is all about ups and downs. hmmm.. it oso mean tat we are actually on a see-saw.. it can be one min u're up, the other min u're down.. isnt it true? life is not smooth sailing at all times. i feel myself on a see-saw.. take for example, playing with gh.. oh wells.. he's bigger than me, so ar, most of the time, i'm on the ups.. but there'll be times when i go down ma.. it's not always very nice ba.. but if this is so ar, then is he feeling down all the time? oops.. this is not a very good representation of wad i'm wanna portray.. but, being with me, has always been nothing but trouble ba.. perharps the see-saw representation is quite true.. o.O

most of the time, i love myself.. i mean, wad's the meaning of life when u dun love urself wor? u must learn urself before u love others ar.. but.. sometimes, i hate myself.. dunno why.. ytd was lying on the bed and thinking thru my whole life. wad has my whole life been about? i conclude.. nothing.. but i came to realise how many ppl i love and how many ppl love me.. am i really worthy of their love? i dun feel so.. thinks that ppl bai teng wo le.. but then, do they really love me? who noes.. where did all those passive thoughts come from wor? seriously, oso dunno.. just dun feel myself ytd.. hmm.. and right up to today.. i even hit myself shio.. with my small pillow la.. am i dying? ppl always say that on their deathbed, funny tots just come..

and wad happens when u die? life is already a question mark, so wad about death? i dun wan to think further.. but then, if i'm given a choice, i dun wan to die lo.. i mean, i'm still so young and haven experience the real LIFE yet, u wan me to die.. that's pretty saddening.. and dying oso means living all my loved ones behind.. sit down and try imagining that they are all gone.. do u feel the heart wrench as i do? it's real painful.. but u nv noe when u are going to die leh.. which comes down to a
point.. live ur life to the fullest.. nv let anyone control ur life.. and love the person u love.. dun regret..

wad am i doing shio? out of my mind le.. jialat.. gosh................................! how does it feels to pull urself out of the crowd, sit down and feel wad they are feeling? hmm.. i nid someone to do that to me shio.. i dunno wad i'm feeling le.. numb.. again.. sia la.. wad happened? am i dying or i've rot too much? hmm.. been having too much empty slots le.. so lotsa time to reflect on myself.. and i'm beginning to hate myself.. how could ppl tahan me? dunno la.. better zip my mind before i go crazy with all those funny tots.. BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!

the princess left at
3:18 PM